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Sep 02, 2023

Gone but not forgotten: Headstones, memorials help us remember

ENID, Okla. — As we approach Memorial Day weekend, let’s take a moment to

ENID, Okla. — As we approach Memorial Day weekend, let's take a moment to recognize why this day is so important and why we memorialize the dead.

Memorial Day, initially referred to as Decoration Day, was observed by many Southern communities immediately after the Civil War, when the nation suffered more than 620,000 military deaths, which was roughly 2% of the American population at the time.

One of the earliest Decoration Days was held in Columbus, Miss., on April 25, 1866, by women who decorated graves of Confederate soldiers who perished in the battle at Shiloh with flowers.

On May 5, 1868, three years after the end of the Civil War, the tradition of placing flowers on veterans’ graves was continued by the establishment of Decoration Day by the Grand Army of the Republic, an organization of Union veterans.

According to the National Archives, John A. Logan, who was the commander-in-chief of the Grand Army of Republic and a Democrat elected as an Illinois U.S. representative, chose May 30, 1868, as a day to decorate the graves of Union troops.

Gen. Ulysses S. Grant presided over the first large observance, a crowd of about 5,000 people, at Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia on May 30, 1873. The orphaned children of soldiers and sailors killed during the Civil War placed flowers and small American flags atop both Union and Confederate graves throughout the entire cemetery.

Decoration Day, aka Memorial Day, soon was designated as an annual day of remembrance to honor all those who have died in service to the United States during peace and war.

"Since the Civil War, Americans have gathered to remember," said Woodring Wall of Honor executive director Elaine Johns. "On Memorial Day, we recall their valor and their sacrifices. They gave their lives so we might live. When we attend those services, we see the sacrifice of the families that come here, the impact it has on them and on all Oklahomans. That is the cost of freedom."

At Woodring Wall of Honor and Vietnam Memorial Wall (an 80% scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall in Washington, D.C.) this coming weekend, several people will pay tribute to the military veterans whose names are etched into the memorial walls just east of Enid.

Saturday, May 27, is the Medal of Honor Ride starting at 11 a.m. at Woodring Wall of Honor, and will travel to three gravesides and/or memorials in the area including Lt. Col. Leon Vance, Vance Air Force Base's namesake, at Waukomis Cemetery.

Woodring Wall of Honor's annual Memorial Day service will be 10 a.m. Monday, May 29. This year is the 90th anniversary of Woodring Regional Airport, named after Bert Woodring, and his great-nephew will be present for the dedication of the new mural.

Many Americans remember everyone who has passed on — not just military veterans — by decorating their headstones, graves, or memorial sites over the Memorial Day weekend.

However, this tradition supersedes Memorial Day weekend. Memorializing the dead with stones and decorating their gravesites has been a tradition for thousands of years.

It was depicted in the Bible when Jacob placed one on the grave of his late wife Rachel. In the Western Balkans, Greece and Italy, archaeologists have uncovered marked mounds dating back to Bronze and Medieval ages.

Culturally, a stone or wooden stake was used as a marker to identify a person's resting place. Over time, it became a customized monument to honor him or her.

Tombstones have included statues, reliefs and inscriptions to tell a story. Epitaphs reflect the person who died — their identity, values, beliefs — as well as their social status, ethnicity or religious affiliation.

The Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C., cites six reasons why Americans utilize headstones:

• For burial location. Marking a burial site makes it easier for people visiting to find their deceased's grave and tell them apart from others.

• For commemoration. Headstones humanize the dead with important details such as their name, title, age, key dates and epitaph etched on them. This helps those passing by recall that it's a person lying beneath these stones no matter how much they get used to seeing the monument. Commissioning a memorial also allows the deceased's survivors to express their sentiments at the time of interment, further serving to personalize the grave.

• For genealogical identification. Gravestones also are a prime source of information for the deceased's descendants interested in tracing their ancestry. Beyond names and dates, a marker can provide details like where they are from, their relationships, cause of death, social standing and community affiliations. Sometimes, a headstone bears information about the deceased's immediate circle buried nearby. These contexts can be a gold mine for future generations looking to connect dots.

• For grave protection. Before concrete burial enclosures became common, people used stone markers to cover a gravesite to prevent animals from digging up the body. This would also deter grave robbers and other such entities from vandalizing burial sites as the presence of a headstone indicated the body therein was spoken for.

• For religious or cultural representation. Headstone symbolism depicts the religion or culture of the deceased. Different denominations used different icons to mark their dead's final resting place. These symbols honor the deceased's belief system, prepare their spirit for the journey ahead, and protect their soul, among other religious sentiments.

• For historical artifacts. Grave markers double as artifacts for visitors to get a sense of the type of people buried there. Students of history and tombstone tourists can visit and study the wide range of monuments to document, make predictions, and draw usable conclusions about different time periods.

Stones marking the deceased's final resting place have endured throughout history because they do endure extreme weather and the passage of time as a lasting tribute, whereas all other types of memorial markers will fade away and can't sustain like headstones.

Pellow Monument, which opened across the street from Enid Cemetery in 1911, has continually created graveside monuments out of granite for more tha n 100 years. The memorial masons at Pellow use a diamond-edge impact etching machine to design whatever people want on the granite chosen.

Kim Mack, current owner of Pellow Monument, said headstones offer more than just remembering those who are gone; these permanent monuments give one last opportunity for the person to leave behind a legacy and an actual place where others can come and honor them.

Johns agreed. She has strived for nearly 25 years to help Oklahomans remember and honor military veterans through the memorial walls and memorial services.

"The biggest fear the families have is their loved ones will be forgotten," Johns said. "They are proud (their veterans) served, but they fear services like these will go away and the veterans will be forgotten."

Woodring Wall of Honor, the Vietnam Memorial Wall and the proposed OK Military Museum will ensure they will not be forgotten, Johns said. She hopes that generations to come will visit these memorials and cemeteries around Northwest Oklahoma.

Whether it be memorial walls, headstones or other graveside markers, all are meant to help bring comfort to families who’ve lost loved ones and help future generations remember who was here before them.

Ann Pellow Rus, the granddaughter of Jack Pellow, the stonecutter who founded Pellow Monuments, told the Enid News & Eagle in 2011, "Everyone needs to be remembered, no matter what."

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Replogle is a freelance writer who provides copy for the Enid News & Eagle.

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